DIARY OF MUDROGAR JAPPE
Ladislav Szalai
FOREWORD
Dear Reader, It is my great pleasure,honor,and also my personal satisfaction
that it is me,one of the many amateur archeologists,who can present you with
a document in which surprising,but no doubt true facts about the origin of our
beautiful mother Earth and the whole solar system are recorded.Right now I cannot
predict the extent to which this document will change the perception of the
history of our planet and the universe in general,but am sure that the diary
of Mudrogar Jappe I found in the seaweed of the Sargasso sea will become the
bomb that will tear apart all the narrow- minded theories of those so-called
“famous”researchers who are yet to look beyond the tips of their noses.
I would like to call the attention of all
those curious to the exhibition entitled “Mudrogar Jappe and His World”,which
has been installed in the National Museum of Technology.It will be open from
June 13th to August 18th.For the first time the diary,restored by the specialists
at the Monaco State Atomic Laboratory,will appear in public.Together with the
diary, visitors will also be able to observe a number of holographic shadows
depicting Jappe’s fantasmagories.These were found in the Sargasso sea along
with the diary.
Because it was I who discovered the famous
diary and the further remains of Mudrogar Jappe’s fantasy by myself,and installed
the exhibition alone as well,at the end of this foreword would like to name
only some of those who have been trying to thwart my work.They are professors
Allan Homerswile,Jacek Skripnicki,Alois Vashak,and Omar ibn Basad.
Modern,enlightened,Jozhka Galaga
in Valashske Mezirhichi
June 8,1999
DIARY
MUDROGAR JAPPE,MUDROGAR JAPPE,Mudrogar Jappe,Mudrogar Jappe (Written with long
tails)
Painuary 7,6812
I’ve decided to start writing a diary.am no writer,but anyway,it doesn’t matter.Tubus
Ort,director of Plastic Flights and major topologist, suggested it to me earlier,even
before I won the competition finals.It was quite fun entering that contest;am
not sure what got into my mind but it was really me who applied to compete in
the elimination rounds.They squeezed all the knowledge and imagination out of
me so that my skull almost burst.But before I had time to recover,I was sitting
in front of the second round committee.The third,fourth,and fifth rounds thereafter
were like a dream.Following the quarter-finals they almost had to take me to
an institute for the mentally ill.Then,when I won the semi-finals, Tubus Ort
came to me,greeted me with his suctional paw and whispered into my headphones
“you will win,ok?I don’t like your opponent at all - he’s got this weirdly shaped
head…”And you guessed it,won it!After many many centuries I realized that I
had to win the contest,because my skull was angular and frontally depressed
in exactly the same way as Tubus Ort’s!(The last sentence was added to the diary
on Painuary 11,7998)
Painuary 13,6812
I feel weird today.My eyesight is a little cloudy.In the morning they focused
seven big telescopes upon my middle eye.They are supposed to watch out for me.But
I’ve got a great future!I finally figured out what’s in store for me-will fly
to infinity!Oh oh,but should have known earlier. It’s too late to pull back
now.Every day they show me on biotelevision. The whole planet projects my image
on to the frontal part of their cortical gray matter.It’s not a bad feeling
to be famous,but then when I realize what awaits me in the future…Oh,almost
forgot to write that they did a very strange experiment on me yesterday.Some
scientist with two brain extensions manipulated my imagination.was a little
bit afraid,but he told me that nothing bad would happen.I’m only supposed to
become i- m-m-o-r-t-a-l.“What me immortal?!”remained staring at him like a fallen
pear.“Sure,”he assured me kindly.“Only when you are immortal can you fly to
infinity and inform us what it looks like along the way.”
IMMORTAL!And thanks only to his imagination!Who’d ever have thought it?
Painuary 28,6812
I’ve neglected you a little my dear diary.It’s been too much for me in the last
couple of days.think they are overdoing it with all the fame.Seven superquick
machines were bursting trying to sign all the autographs.They even started a
strike for me on some little island.have a feeling they were protesting that
such a popular person as me should not be allowed to fly..........